So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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