I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
