yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
