Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
