i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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