OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
