things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
