so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
