theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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