Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
