break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
