i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
