the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
