Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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