I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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