Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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