she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
