Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
