We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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