David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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