If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
