Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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