Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
