me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
