i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
