can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
