so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
