The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
