I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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