a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
