the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
