Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
