My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
