I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
