Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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