i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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