i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's like iHOP with fire
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
