Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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