Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
