I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
