Pappa wants mamma naked
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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