she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
