My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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