her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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