She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
