would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
