He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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