Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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