u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
