Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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